We tell people not to worry like it's helpful advice. "Don't worry about it, worrying won't change anything." It sounds wise. It's usually wrong.

Worry is basically a brainstorming session of ways to reduce risk. When you worry about something, you're running scenarios, checking exposure, looking for a way in. Tell someone to stop worrying and you're telling them to stop looking.

The mistake is bailing out too early. Most people worry on the surface for a minute, hit "there's nothing I can do," and stop — so of course it feels useless. But that first "nothing I can do" is rarely the real answer. Dig a couple layers past it and there's almost always a lever: something you can prep for, ask about, hedge against, or just control the framing of. The worry wasn't pointless. You just quit the brainstorm before it produced anything.